


Between You and Me

by Shi_Toyu



Series: Of Mischief and Metal [11]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Background Relationships, Coffee, Coffee Addict Tony Stark, Coping, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Up, Reconciliation, Recovery, Talking, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 18:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8412745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shi_Toyu/pseuds/Shi_Toyu
Summary: Steve and Tony sit down to have a talk about everything that's happened.





	

Steve is waiting for him when the elevator doors open, hands wringing and nearly dancing on his toes.

“Hey, Tony,” he greets, all at once too fast and too cautious. “JARVIS said you were coming down, that you wanted to talk.”

“I do,” Tony agreed, though he didn’t step out of the sanctuary of the elevator and into Steve’s space. “Is now a good time for you?”

“Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Please, come in.”

Steve took a step to the side, gesturing as if there could be any confusion on Tony’s part about how to get out of his metal box. The genius tried very hard not to think about what, exactly, was making him so eager. Which was stupid, really, because that was exactly what Tony was there to talk about.

“Can I get you anything?” Steve asked once Tony was out of the elevator and looked less like he was about to bolt at any moment.

“Coffee?”

“Of course, yeah.”

Tony followed him into the kitchen and stood in silence as Steve went through the motions of starting a pot. He kept sending furtive looks over his shoulder each time, as if he expected Tony to suddenly disappear, so the brunet took a seat at the counter. Just because neither of them were looking forward to this conversation didn’t mean it didn’t still need to happen. He waited until Steve had poured out two mugs of coffee and taken a seat just one stool away from him before he spoke.

“I’m used to having all the answers,” he confessed quietly, “though I’m sure that comes as no surprise to you. I knew that if you or the rest of the team figured out that James was in my lab, nothing would stop you from getting in. That’s why I hid it from you. I accepted the consequences of what might happen beforehand, because I knew going in that what I was doing was wrong.”

“No, Tony, tha-“

“Let me finish,” he cut Steve off, and the soldier snapped his mouth shut immediately. “When I spoke to Natasha, she said I had prioritized James over the rest of you and it was true. I was prepared to lose the team if it meant keeping him safe. I was prepared to take that blame. I was okay with it after the fact, too. I kept trying to talk James down because it made _sense_ that you were angry. _I’d fucked up._ ” He gave a bitter laugh. “I’m used to fucking up.

“And I understood that not everyone blamed me. James and Bruce and Pepper and… Of _course_ they didn’t blame me. Their faith in me is a little ridiculous at times. So I was able to brush that all off, only then you come around and tell me it’s _not_ my fault and I did the _right_ thing and _you_ were the one who was wrong.”

“I was,” Steve said, reaching a hand across the space between them to cover Tony’s wrist. “I was _horribly_ wrong and I don’t know where to even begin to make up for it. I overreacted and treated you in an absolutely inexcusable way.”

“What I’m trying to understand, what I _need_ to understand, is why. If it’s so inexcusable now, why wasn’t it then? Or for the weeks afterward when you and James were set and ready to rip each other apart? I know you talked with Thor and he explained things to you but… What changed, Steve?”

The blond’s lips thinned as he glared down into his own mug, his hand retreating away from Tony once more.

“At the time,” he started slowly, “it seemed so rational. Looking back, it’s obviously _not_ but in that moment… We’ve all come to trust the things Natasha comes up with, what she can figure out is just downright _freaky_ sometimes, and you weren’t denying it. You’d been acting strangely and I was worried. I didn’t know what was going on. I honestly thought it was going to turn out to be something stupid and reckless that we’d all get to yell at you for when it was over. Whatever my reasoning, though, my reaction was not okay. How I treated you afterward was not okay. I was a bully and an asshole.”

“Language,” Tony reprimanded, more automatically than anything else. He’d known this conversation was going to be an emotional show and tell before he even came down. Time to suck it up and get with the program. “Look, you know Howard became pretty obsessed with you after you put that plane into the Arctic. Hell, he was pretty obsessed with you before then. You know he looked for you for decades all the way up until he died. It shouldn’t be that much a stretch to think he might have brought that obsession home with him.

“There were times that the only way I could have a conversation with my father that didn’t involve him telling me just how disappointing I was, was if we were talking about _you._ Growing up, you were my hero. There was no question about your truth and honor and bravery and _perfectness_. Later on, that turned kind of bitter because every time I thought of you, it reminded me of how I was never going to be good enough.”

“Tony, I never-“

“I know. None of that’s your fault and I don’t blame you for it, okay? That’s not what this is about. The point is that we met and we got off on the wrong foot but then we made up and I realized that all of that bullshit Howard used to spew out his ass was _true_. Captain America _was_ good and honest and brave and fucking _perfect_. He was the kind of guy I’d be happy to follow into battle and call my friend.”

Steve looked like he was in intense physical pain.

“I’m so sorry, Tony.”

“When I considered all of this to be my fault,” he continued as if he hadn’t heard, “it was okay because it’s pretty much always been my fault. I could still trust everyone I knew. Now I’m not so sure. I don’t blame Natasha for her choices, exactly, but I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable having to rely on her to have my back. I know, especially now, that you’d do everything in your power to make sure you do the right thing but what if something like this happened again? What if something happened that made me look like the bad guy? Would you just lock me in a cell and throw away the key? Would you even _ask?_ ”

“Of _course_ I would ask,” Steve said, sounding gutted.

It made Tony feel petty and small when he whispered, “You didn’t ask this time.”

A silence fell between them for several long minutes before Steve finally spoke again.

“I can’t say for certain what the future holds, but please know that I will _never_ mistreat you like that again, Tony. I don’t care what happens. If I watch you _stab_ somebody in cold blood, I’m still gonna ask. Not that you would! I’m not trying to say that you _would_. I was just using that as an example!”

“I get it. I know. It’s fine, Cap.”

Steve settled, though he still looked worried.

“I know I don’t have any right to ask this,” he admitted after another bout of silence, “but are you going to stay on the team?”

Tony stared down into his mug.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t know if I _can_ quit, to be perfectly honest with you, but I also don’t know if I can keep going out in the field without constantly trying to look over my own shoulder.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Steve nodding in understanding.

“You need to be able to trust your team,” he said. “Would it…”

But he trailed off before finishing the question. Tony looked up at him curiously.

“What is it?”

Steve shook his head.

“Nothing. Just a thought. Forget about it.”

As if that had _ever_ worked on Tony. _Ever._

“Tell me.”

Steve bit his lip as he considered.

“I’m not asking this for me,” he felt the need to clarify. “I was just wondering if it might help you feel more comfortable.”

“Right now, you’re not actually asking anything,” Tony snarked.

Steve scowled and seemed to steel his resolve as he looked up to meet Tony’s eyes.

“Would it help if Bucky went out in the field with us? He wouldn’t have to actually join the team, if he didn’t want to, and certainly not at first, but you trust him, right? He could be there to watch your back.”

The _from the rest of us_ went unsaid. Tony stared at him.

“I’m not sure giving him a sniper rifle and telling him he’s free to shoot you guys would be a good idea.”

Steve gave a short bark of laughter, though it didn’t sound very amused.

“No, probably not. We’re doing a lot better, though. You know, since I managed to stop acting like such an idiot.”

Tony searched his face for any sign that this might be a joke, or not thought out, or _anything_.

“You’re serious,” he finally concluded.

Steve nodded readily.

“I want you to feel comfortable,” he said. “I want you to feel _safe_ and I get that the team doesn’t exactly do that for you anymore, especially not out in the field. You could probably trust Hulk more than any of us but he’s not exactly coming out currently.”

Yeah, Bruce hadn’t taken it well when he’d learned what happened. He’d made it abundantly clear that the Hulk would be aiming for the other Avengers, not whatever bad guys were causing trouble, if he came out to play.

Tony considered it. This wasn’t the kind of thing he wanted to take on lightly.

“I’d have to talk to James first,” he settled on.

Steve beamed.

“Great,” he said, and seemed to really mean it. “Just let me know, okay? And I’m sorry again, for everything. I can never apologize enough.”

Tony just shrugged, not sure how to handle the emotion.

“Right,” he agreed. “Thanks for the coffee.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know a lot of you want Tony to get up and walk away, I just don't think Tony would do it. He's too _good_. So, instead, I'm gonna try and make him as comfy as possible.
> 
> SEND FOR THE BLANKETS AND PLUSH TOYS!


End file.
